Tuesday, September 29, 2009♥
	jus smile smile smile smile, which smile today? the hey or the high or the flirty one? if i dont smile they will think i dao them, and they will be like "suying why you like that?", and they will start bitching about you. i dread dread dread putting on a fake smile but i got no choice, so theres nothing i can do but to S-M-I-L-E ohbtw, i dont think i.ve alot of patience left, jus wanna tell you that before you laugh at others, reflect upon yourself, for y'know many many people are bitching about you too am i using your brains to study? am i sacrificing your sleep to mug? obviously, the answer is no. so what right have you got to tell me that theres no need to study so hard, y'know what, its the first time someone tell me "aiya no need work so hard de lah, you jus needa have a skill and you can survive", okay so lemme ask you, what skill do you have? oh i know, you have the talent of crapping, i dont believe that when you were preparing for your Os some time back, you did not study, lemme jus be straight, you are jealous. you are jealous that im in cchms, you are jealous that i have so many people who are always ready to lend me a helping hand and tutor me, you are jealous that your boyf have to sacrifice your dating time to help me, and last but not least, you are jealous that i do better than you, what a bimbo! Labels: smile like you got no choice Blogged @ 6:51 PM

	Saturday, September 26, 2009♥
	well i dont know, but sometimes it shows how not concerned you are, wheres that feeling now, i.ve got nothing to say anymore, do as you deem fit that tap on my shoulder means alot to me, such a simple action but it sent my tears down, when i got back the paper i was trying so hard not to let those stupid silly tears come down, but then your tap and your smile and your texts made it impossible for me to stop those wilful tears from flowing down, im sorry i broke down once again, truly disappointed with myself and i failed to play my role well Blogged @ 9:17 AM

	Thursday, September 24, 2009♥
	while people are climbing higher, why am i sinking deeper? so what if every subject i improved at least 2 grades, compared to others, my improvements mean nothing at all, yes to be honest im glad im no longer failing 3, 4 subjects already, but on the other hand, i feel that theres still a long way to go, if i start all over again now, izzit too late? please tell me no since Os is like in a month's time, i wont be updating anymore, unless i really have something to say, lets piah together people! Blogged @ 7:50 PM

	Wednesday, September 23, 2009♥
	very disappointed with myself, it feels like im stuck in a pile of shyt the night before chem and egeog papers, i slept for only about 4omins and this is the damn shytty results i get in return, so does it mean if i slept for 100mins i would get 100marks? i dare say i studied, and its those kind of serious studying, not anyhow flip one page two page jus to entertain myself, yet the outcome is still so atrocious, why! when mr chia said the paper was not that difficult, i was like 'wah piang, mega cut-through, instant K.O.', i mean seriously i feel like an idiot with an iq of only 10 it feels like jus afew days ago i was complaining about things like i.ve only 100days to Os, and now its like what.. 33 days to Os?!! and seriously im sick and tired of complaining about how bad results screwed me up, i mean talking about it jus reminds me of the fact that im stupid Blogged @ 7:10 PM

	Monday, September 21, 2009♥
	went out with jiahui, shiyong, joyce, gav, clarence and xx on saturday, it seems to be a day where we had not much plans and was kinda in the 'zou yi bu kan yi bu' state, but nonetheless it was pretty funnnn!! ohyeah and we met yinghui and her friend, what a coincidence! we girls went to play arcade while gav and xx played pool, i keep losing in the car racing game, but if i look on the positive side of things, it means that im too guai le, never go arcade (okay fine im crapping, as if you people will believe i dont frequent those places when i dont even believe it myself) haha needa brush up my skills already! and gav kept wanting to bowl and sing K, seems like hes really fond of singing yeah haha. deciding which movie to watch was tough! we had the proposal, the ugly truth and phobia2 in mind, and decided to proceed with the ugly truth in the end, and while we were watching the trailer for surrogates, i saw one scene where all the people suddenly collapse and died, so i said "so kong bu" and gav suan me "huh like that call kong bu", okay so that shows gav is brave hahaha, well as usual he left early while we went proceed to watch the movie, it was really awesome and funny! there was quite a number of obscene scenes such as showing the whole big naked butt, boobs spilling out, new phrases to express 'ahem', and some which are not suitable to be said here haha, go watch and you guys will know! being poor souls, we settled for macdonalds for dinner and we gossiped about many people in school, haha sounds bad! ahyes, before the movie we ate at kfc and gossiped about actresses having plastic surgery, omg so bad! haha and what clarence said about 'ahem' really makes me stun tio! in all, it was pretty fun!:DDDDDD yaye sunday had no tuitions cos mom said i could rest for a week! yes! but.. i was bored to death! it feels weird and uneasy to relax and stop studying all of a sudden! i wondered how i passed the day.. but luckily chatted with jh on the phone for about 3hours, wow we really have alot to say! and the more we say, the more pissed i got, i really cant find any words to describe that person, that person is really incorrigible already! yucks jus talking about that person makes me disgusted! shall stop here now.. suddenly realise that not everyone can be trusted, i counted, in cchms, there are only three people i can totally trust %100, i dont wanna mention who are they cos they should know:) but all of them are from different classes lah, but again, there are quite alot of people in cchms i can totally rely %100 on, they are always willing to lend me a helping hand and ear whenever i need it, and i can always rely on them for help! so what i wanna say here is that many friends can help you, but when you think about it, how many can you really trust? everyone always says im gullible and i believe people easily, i dont deny it but i thought it wouldnt be good to doubt someone, until recently some things happen which made me realise this very important concept>never trust anyone wholeheartedly, but again, i wont and will never allow my trust for those whom i trust %100 waver, its jus not fair to them no more commitments, moving on.. Blogged @ 7:29 PM

	Saturday, September 19, 2009♥
	im seriously gonna blow my top now, is there anything wrong with you passerby, you act as if you are very cute and im enjoying playing all these stupid games with you, please gimme a break will you, i dont owe you anything do i, jus what is your problem lah! ma de you very stupid you know, play how long liao still play play play, how old are you le lah, can you jus let me live my life in peace, do you have the single idea that by doing all these stupid acts, you.re affecting my mood, you think very funny huh, then i think there mus be something wrong with you, seriously wrong, i tell you, you better stop everything right now, and when i say stop means stop, talking nicely to you doesnt work so i mus as well use this type of stupid way to reach out to you and everyone will think im like a lunatic scolding someone who doesnt even care, yeah whatever, i dont give a shyt anymore, you had your fair share of fun, its time to stop for goodness sake, screw you lah idiot monkey Blogged @ 9:45 PM

	Tuesday, September 15, 2009♥
	suddenly i feel so thankful for the creation of blogs and that i.ve got one, this is seriously where i can rant like a mad dog without irritating anyone, i mean if you choose to come to this blog and read then i guess you have a choice not to, so if you have already started reading this post and you dont want your happy mood to be ruined by me, i suggest you navigate to other pages this very moment yeah:) i feel so damn screwed up and messed up, it jus seems like theres always problems infront of me that i have to face and these problems cant be solved at all no matter what methods i try to use, its making me so damn fedup that i dunno how much longer i can hold on to everything.. i.ve really tried my very best to control and not say anything about it, jus pretending that nothing has ever happened before, but you people seem to take this for granted, im really sick of all this man, i mean what did i do to deserve all this, okay sometimes i admit its my fault but you cant put all the blame on me right, ah damn i feel like scolding eff!! forget it i.ll jus concentrate on my studies and not care about all those stupid silly things which means nothing already, i dunno, perhaps i jus dont like the feeling of losing Blogged @ 2:05 PM

	Saturday, September 12, 2009♥
	44 days to Os and im still so damn unprepared for it, my physics and chem is still hopeless like some smelly socks till i dont know where to even start from man, really tried but its like telling me "hey suying, you cant", i cant master it even with practises and consultations, plusplus i have to take into consideration my other subjects which i know are jus like shyt too. yes, you people will tell me "sciences jus need to understand the concepts and know how to apply and practise more", yah yah yah, talk is cheap like seriously, i also know how to talk, free what, imagine people telling you your lousiest subjects are what they think is the easiest, damn mega cut-through, instant K.O. everyone is so busy about Os now, mugging every single moment, yet im like still not really in the mug mood, do one qns, walk around, do another qns, lie on bed, do next qns, go sleep, wow how great, 44 days to Os, to me its the same as telling me 44 days to doom seriously, i.ve no idea why i acted that way, i was rather shocked too by my reaction to be honest, perhaps its jus an act of self-defence, i guess if you were me, you wouldnt be able to withstand the pain too (?) why did we become like that, actually you.re tired too arent you, but if you.re really true, no matter what you.ll still come back, if you.re not, i wont make a big fuss outta it either and im still sick, dying from agony Blogged @ 11:43 AM

	Thursday, September 10, 2009♥
	别真的以为我不会疲惫, 只是用太阳眼镜掩盖眼泪, 你从不关心我的喜悲, 离开那一回我已无所谓, 勇敢面对我们之间已枯萎, 我只想在这一秒忘却了烦恼, 不去擦昨日的眼泪, 你说试着了解我, 但我已经没有感动, 心也不再痛, 不回头, 你说想试着再回头, 但我已经无法承受, 没有了温柔, 往前走 in case you havnt noticed, im no longer the suying i used to be, always trying my best to please you ohoh and i was thinking if i should change to onsugar instead, hm.. went for physics consultation today, and then went to meet zx at pasir ris, gosh where did i find all the time. prelimTwo isnt finished yet and Os hasnt even started, yet im slacking and acting like i.ve finished my Os and scored 6points, bravo suying Blogged @ 7:49 PM

	Tuesday, September 8, 2009♥
	dinner on saturday was fun and everyone has changed, ahma has indeed aged alot and i felt guilty cos i havnt been spending much time with her, when i was younger we would go her place every sunday, but now its like once every few months which is really little, suddenly im afraid of losing her as shes the only grandparent i have now, da bo has also aged alot, his hair is totally white and hes really like dad! his actions, looks and whatever, jus that dad's hair is totally black and the best thing is he hasnt dyed it once before! hes got black pigment in his head hahaha, oh and ahma's hair is also totally black even when shes like 70plus 80plus years old le, and i heard thats cos she dyes it, wow ahma ai mei hahaha! but er biao sau never change, shes still as young and pretty and friendly!^^ and everyone was like "eh suying this year Os huh? jin zhang mah?" yeah and i would nod my head and give them a smile and i felt so fake.. sunday was second round and they had dinner at my place, mom cooked nice food, yum yum:D played cards after that and i was on a losing streak, man i lost 30plus$, heartache sia.. but luckily ahma, er gu and dad gave me 10$ each and i recouped some of my losses, heehz:D and ahbee's boyf is like so funny can, keep making me laugh and helping me win lah(he knew what card i was waiting for and gave me) haha suan ta hui zuo ren, and he told me to do well and get into a good jc so that there would be competition and i would be urged to do better, and he wanted me to treat him to dinner if i get into a good jc, dont worry i will as long as its not too ex:) oh and i lent er gu the ming zhong dvd and she played some parts of it at my home, theres one part where ji cun xi fell into the fountain or whatever when he was trying to help take the paper which has the design, and er gu was distributing cards and when she heard him fall into the water, she shouted "eh!" as if she wants to tell him "xiao xin ah" and then rescue him, hahaha cute lah she to passerby: you are very clever cos you know that im using shoutmix and i wont be able to check your ip add and know who you are, but i dont give a damn, and whatever happens is none of your businees, but judging from whatever you said be it recently or in the past, we seem to know each other, if not where did you get your info from, well jus end everything can, i mean what do you benefit from it right, so lets jus be more mature and stop all these childish hide and seek games, wanting me to guess who are you blahblahblah, and getting angry and pissed, shall we? Blogged @ 7:48 PM

	Saturday, September 5, 2009♥
	hello! finally its the holidays and i can get to slack alittle! but i guess i would end up slacking very much more since this has always been the case hahaha! oh and i.ve totally screwed up chem.. sacrificing my sleep to get F9s, i think im the only fool who would do that.. emath paper1 was the best i think, at least it was.. do-able (?) and the rest was not that.. hm do-able, for me lah today is ahma's bday, gonna go out eat tonight with like so many people, and the thought of it jus turns me off, cos they.ll be asking all sorts of stupid qns which i dont feel like answering but have to cos they are my elders and it would be rude if i didnt, and mom knowing about it makes everything worse, yeah i jus hope will-kor will help shut them up! hahaha, ohwait i forgot to say happy birthday ahma! love ya! (sounds very weird leh, where got people talk like this to their grandmothers one..) 有好几次我都想挽留 Blogged @ 1:47 PM