Tuesday, June 30, 2009♥
	i tried, but i jus cant forget about those incidents, i.ve never felt so betrayed before they said i misunderstood you, is this the case? can i still trust you Blogged @ 4:57 PM

	Saturday, June 27, 2009♥
	went to cut bangs today, okay i look like a kid, well whatever im prepared to get laughed at when school starts on monday, nevermind it will grow!:D went to da yi's house with gen and played like siao with nicole and xavier. they are really full of energy man! i cant carry her.. T^T alright i.ll try to upload the pictures again next time, oh and i.ll be on hiatus so leave me offline msgs instead! bye!:D Blogged @ 11:32 PM

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	i cant believe it.. michael jackson is dead, ohgosh.. well actually hes not really my idol, jus that i think some of his songs are nice and so many people misunderstood him which makes my heart go all out to him, and now that hes gone hes unable to clear up all the misunderstandings, poor thing.. seriously i jus hope people will leave this 'man' alone and let him leave the last best impression in our minds:) RIP, MJ Blogged @ 8:33 AM

	Thursday, June 25, 2009♥
	checked the emails this morning and saw ms chua's name there and the subject was urgent in caps, got a scare and quickly clicked on it, and realised it was a reminder to send the testimonial to her, well i guess i told zx the wrong email add (haha) and then at about 11plus i saw one missed call and one new voice msg on my phone, and the voicemail goes something like this "hi suying, mdm toh here, please call me as soon as poosible" okay that totally freaked me out, i thought what happened, and so i called back and realised it was jus instructions to download the declaration form (i heard decoration) haha kinda miss the teachers and my friends:D jus a week ago, suying said "i wont cut bangs de lor" and now im planning to get my hair cut on saturday, well i jus hope uncle thomas goes down on that day so that i get to cut my hair before school reopens! seems like alot of people cut bangs recently.. and and i think theres some stupid problem with my msn contact list.. argh although i cant seem to know where the problem really lies, msn contacts jus disappear suddenly without a sign and its really irritating me! oh gosh.. someone help me please! 3 more days, and the war begins Blogged @ 7:00 PM

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	i dont like copycats, full stop. why are you always copying? why why why. Blogged @ 10:04 AM

	Tuesday, June 23, 2009♥
	chanced upon my previous blogs and found out that my posts in the past were so different from my posts now!! i wonder why.. when i saw the first one, i read the contents and memories were jolted, i realised the same thing actually happened last time, the only difference was that at that time i was the one whose hand phone was being used by friends to send him lame msgs, and i got angry and blew up. and now.. well whatever regarding the second one, i read and read but i jus couldnt figure out who was i talking about.. i actually forgot about it! but i think i roughly have an idea who is it, since i wrote there "hitting and bullying" (heehz) memories jolted xoxo Labels: memories Blogged @ 7:53 PM

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	poor me is already broke like dunno what, went kbox 2 times last week and 2 more to come, one during this week and the other one on youth day, why so many people wanna go sing k ah? im broke already okay people!! but going with different companies are pretty fun and unique experiences, each clique is different!:D and i realise many people sing ah mei's songs, very nice but difficult to sing! pool ytd with junwei, improved alittle but he still won:( haha im addicted to pool!!(and kbox?) why am i blogging so much these few days, it seems like i suddenly have so many posts, is it becos last week i didnt blog? haha perhaps.. no more commitments, moving on.. (study date with parkway today!:D) and sorry jer, cant join you guys in kbox(again) today, have fun anyways!;D Labels: kbox, pool Blogged @ 8:56 AM

	Monday, June 22, 2009♥
	thanks ah, your words really sunk deep into my head and my heart, im going to prove that i can do it and prove you wrong! bleah Blogged @ 7:56 PM

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	i looked around, the feeling of emptiness suddenly got so strong i had an urge to take out my phone and dial your number i suddenly remembered the times we said "i.ll wait for you" to each other, such simple words but such deep meanings, i dunno if i did the right thing, so what if i didnt, there wouldnt be a second chance already would there memories have no strength in salvaging a relationship, the strength it has is only worth afew drops of tears and afew real smiles, afew drops of tears cos the moment you find yourself dropping the first drop of tear, you.ll wipe it off and tell yourself not to cry, afew real smiles cos those happy moments were so real you couldnt deny it at all Blogged @ 7:05 PM

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	Happy Fathers Day! i love you dad:D thanks for everything that you have done for me, thanks for tolerating my wilfulness, thanks for giving in to me always, thanks for doing those small little things to show that you care, thank you dad! i know i failed you as a daughter, always giving you the cold shoulder, not talking to you, being rude and insensitive towards you, i promise i.ll try to change on my part.. THANK YOU DAD! I LOVE YOU!<3 i.ll always remember that sight when you got up from the sofa and walked back to your room, i could feel that you were disappointed, sad, and age is catching up with you, i can really feel it, you have alot of troubles but you didnt say out, is that why you always go to pubs? jus now when you were eating, i felt guilty, i feel that im the worst daughter in the whole wide world, noone could be worst than me, i admit at times i really hated you but i know i cant live without you, im really afraid what if one day you had to go, what would i do? im scared.. i promise im going to study hard, do well for Os, get into a good college, study the course i like in university, get a good job and repay you and mom!:D i promise. and to zx: thanks alot for always being there for me when i need help, i guess i finally understood what you.re trying to tell me, that God is always with me and will never give up on me so i mus never give up on Him. and i think i know whats God's reason for all this now, i will trust in Him and confide in him Dear God, please give me the strength to do the right things and carry the right attitude. Thank you for letting me go through all this to let me grow up and see the good and evil sides of life. In Jesus' name, Amen Blogged @ 1:40 AM

	Saturday, June 20, 2009♥
	hey people im so sorry for not updating and replying tags! havnt been doing much this week, felt alittle motivated and decided to do homework but of cos its not finished yet:( fretting over what kinda fringe i should cut.. ah okay imma left with only one week of holidays to finish all my holiday homework(which i said must be completed within 2nd week of holidays, yeah right..) as well as revision for prelimTwo which consists of sec3 and sec4 work. wow bravo suying! what great schedule you have there>( and outta these 7days, 3days are already booked by friends, which means i.ve only 4days to do all i HAVE to do! yeah great.. hanging on to delusions, im slowly losing myself as well as my grip on my friends, no matter how busy i am with schoolwork or whatever stuffs i always make it a point to try to strike a conversation, but it seems like im the only one keeping the conversation going and you dont really care at all (?) look, im not trying to put any blame on you. everlasting friendship, friends forever, things that we said in the past? thats jus a naive thought i used to possess and am still trying to hold on to.. but like what i said, im only hanging on to delusions. am i using your brain to study, am i? the answer is obviously no, so what right have you got to tell me to not study and that there is no need to mug? yes, maybe to you im those kinda person who is always playing and always burns the midnight oil cos i didnt follow the schedule, okay i admit sometimes im like that, but this year is my Os, i feel the urge to study hard and do well. for goodness sake, please dont tell me you.re not the least bit worried and studying? stop being fake, you know very well you.re mugging your ass off at home too:) thanks for interrupting my life and ruining my plan, thanks ah *rolls eyes* Blogged @ 10:14 AM

	Monday, June 15, 2009♥
	lunched with justin at compass point, its been six months friend!;D talking about childhood memories and laughing our heads off at silly things we did when young, the mood the atmosphere everything was perfectly great until we heard this auntie shouting at a teenager, like hey auntie whats your problem, hes jus a teen slogging his guts out jus for that petty sum of $$ and he jus couldnt hear clearly what you said, why did you have to yell at him over this, yeah this totally ruined our mood, but its okay we got over it quickly:D and to justin: dont think so much le kay! everything will be fine! ^^v! Blogged @ 9:34 PM

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	didnt sleep on saturday, chatted with him till 5plus sunday morning, put down the phone and quickly catched a wink for 2hours, then woke up and washed up and got ready for tuition, had lunch at 1plus and watched the badminton competition shown on channel5, well china is really quite pro, and they dont look like 24 and 26, haha whatever none of my business, then felt really tired and tried to sleep, but.. keep having distractions!! jus as i was about to enter my dreamland, dad came back and his voice was like so loud lah, the second time i was about to fall asleep mom came in and started talking dunno what and it jolted me again, and i jus kept tossing and turning to show my bu shuang, and i thought 'okay time to sleep, no more distractions i guess..' and when i was about to sleep my hand phone rang.. yeah thanks ah, i gave up.. totally pekchek plus the weather is so damn hot lah! finally 'woke up' and played cards with mom, won afew bucks (heehz), then at night relatives came, and san gu wanted me to call ah bee's boyf uncle, haha i dont wanna get beaten up ah! ohoh and ah ma gave me 10$! haha and she told me to go her place sit sit when im free, hehe.. (wanted to upload pictures but being the oh-so-not-patient person, i decided not to..) gonna meet justin later!! its been 6months! seeyou later jus!:) never letting go.. love you, really do Blogged @ 12:30 PM

	Saturday, June 13, 2009♥
	happy birthday to you, its been 4years.. a picture speaks a thousand words (3 pictures here>3000 words) but what i wanna say to you cant be expressed clearly in 3000 words.. i promise you to smile and be happy, i promise i will.. you must promise me the same thing Blogged @ 12:00 AM

	Friday, June 12, 2009♥
	suddenly i realise perhaps i hadnt liked you at all, im jus using you as a showoff tool, telling others that only i get to see the other side of you and feeling proud of it, so.. is this called using you? i really didnt thought of this before, but suddenly everything jus came to my mind, i started putting the broken pieces of evidence together and i was shocked by what i saw.. am i really jus using you as a showoff tool? is this the real thing? so all along.. i was the one at fault? i was the one playing? Labels: confused Blogged @ 10:48 PM

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	Ashely Tisdale - What If dont speak i cant believe this is here happening our situation isnt right get real, who you.re playing with i never thought itd be like this you were supposed to be there by my side when you said that you want me i jus dont believe it you.re always ready to give up and never turn around but what if i need you baby would you even try to save me or would you find some lame excuse to never be true what if i said i love you would you be the one to run to or would you watch me walk away without a fight im so sick of worrying that you.re gonna quit over anything i could trip and youd let go like that and everything that we ever were seems to fade, but not the hurt cos you dont know the good things from the bad when i say that i want you you know that i mean it and in my hour of weakness theres still time to try but what if i need you baby would you even try to save me or would you find some lame excuse to never be true what if i said i love you would you be the one to run to or would you watch me walk away without a fight everytime i speak, you try and stop me cos every little thing i say is wrong you say you.re noticing, but you never see this is who i really am, but you cant relate makes me wanna know right now if its me youd live without or would you change your mind what if i need you but what if i need you baby would you even try to save me or would you find some lame excuse to never be true what if i said i love you would you be the one to run to or would you watch me walk away without a fight Labels: song Blogged @ 11:37 AM

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	look its getting nowhere, seriously i dunno what i want either, when you give me the cold shoulder i miss you, when you talk to me i act cold, yeah even im fedup with my this stupid attitude, i guess it all boils down to the trust issues.. face it, we.re all playing games, none of us is faithful or devoted or whatsoever, i saw your lies but didnt expose it, i mean whats the point, you can jus deny and people will only say im creating drama and attracting attention, so totally no point at all and seriously i dont see the need to expose your lies, and if you know what i.ve been doing behind your back, you.re going to scream like hell and then kill me, so actually i.ve got no right to be angry at you for doing all this.. is your acting that good? i dont think so.. you left so many evidence lah, so lets jus say im blind and stupid okay? i remembered ms tan's words, she said dont be too possessive jus let go, like what i always say 'once it is lost, it can never be found back again', and it was long gone. no more. i dunno what im going to do next, but i guess it would be better if we stop all connections for the time being, this means i.ll have time to go do what i like and also find something to do in the meantime, good good i failed to play my role well, i jus wanna run away i.ve no idea how much longer i can hold on, so if you wanna go jus go, this time i wont hold you back and and saturday is coming what should i do, help please (??) and as im chatting with ky now, i feel that im about to take my words back, ah suying will you please stop falling deeper into it?? see, thats why i say over-reliance Blogged @ 12:11 AM

	Thursday, June 11, 2009♥
	tuesday practically slacking the whole day, had tuition from 2 to 5, well not really called tuition cos i only did probably about 10 qns throughout the whole 3hours, msn-ed during tuition too haha, then at about 6 gen cooked macaroni for me, yum yum :) and at night entong/tongen (sorry i cant rmb her name all of a sudden!) came, she so damn cute lah! i like her nose, like heart shape de, and she smiled at me leh!! ^^ they say she looks like a boy (??) wednesday went out with christine, and being the suying whos always so rash and cant control, i bought 1 cardigan and 4tops.. scold me scold me, slap me slap me, i mus wake up!! cannot anyhow spend $$ le, and now poor me is only left with 16$ T^T (serves me right i know..) yeah the weather is so damn hot and the yellow cardigan is killing me :( i should be glad i didnt wear the black one, good absorber of heat>physics physics! (iluma's toilet very nice!! hah!!) and i was so bo liao that i used christine's hands as model, haha since we mus take precautions of the swine flu, we mus show a clearer example on how to wash your hands properly. so..here goes first, put some soap on your palm next, rub your hands against each other till its foamy and bubbly (?) finally, wash! and you know what, i suddenly realise it isnt such a good demonstration as i said above jus now, haha jus treat it as im being lame and noone wants to play with me T^T and thanks christine for lending me your hands!! :) yeah and now im going to study! heehz, like finally right.. and then meeting fbf later! yaye :) Labels: update Blogged @ 12:15 PM

	Monday, June 8, 2009♥
	did you forget, i didnt i said stop talking and you really stopped talking, why do you follow instructions so well, its like how clean you made it lah, like hey i thank you for that, you jus dont get it do you, yeah i know no matter what i say now will not change a single thing, you.re not going to give the least bit of damn anymore, so stop being an idiot suying things will never be the same again thanks for everything, takecare.. i seriously gotta stop this feeling, its driving me crazy, it sucks like nobodys business and it completely turns me off now i know, you care only about yourself i hate myself for drinking such a big cup of ego.. okay i know you people will be like this year is your Os so why are you still caring about all these stuffs? thanks people for your concern but i know my limits, obviously i dunno how to handle all this but at least i know theres a limit, and you people will be like wondering 'wow suying, when is she going to stop flirting around' yeah whatever, i dont care anymore, i wanna make studies my first priority from now onwards SUYING PLEASE GO AND STUDY YOUR AMATH OR CHEM OR ELIT OR WHATVER NOW!! Labels: label or lover Blogged @ 9:20 PM

	Sunday, June 7, 2009♥
	many things that id like to say to you, but whats the point now, even if i want you to stay, you would still most probably go, i was the one who said let go and yet now i want it back, what am i thinking of, silly me.. i thought you would care but it seems like im the one making a big fuss outta it and you.re still leading your own life happily i.ve regretted i.ve regretted i.ve regretted perhaps absence makes the heart grows fonder i wanna shout, shout out loud so that you can hear me. i kept waiting and waiting, hoping that you.ll reply, every time my phone vibrates i.ll pray so hard that your name will appear, only to be disappointed time and time again, silly me, im still waiting even though its already 2plus in the morning, are you happy that i said stop talking, or will you mind? did you forget everything? why doesnt it affect you at all? hello? theres 1001 ways to contacting me, so why are you still not contacting me. i waited from 06june till 07june without sleeping, and your name didnt appear on my phone at all. how come it seems like you dont care already? has it really ended this time? this feeling is so painful and it sucks like nobodys business. im really tempted into msging you to tell you that i take back my words, but i cant, cos im not only msging you, but your friends as well we.re okay we.re okay we.re okay, are we.. when i wake up, will i see your name on my phone and will everything be okay? Blogged @ 2:12 AM

	Friday, June 5, 2009♥
	i dunno how to clear up the mess the things that happen recently really made me tired, i.ve got no more extra energy to care about whatsoever stuffs, infact i thought i could jus die down there, you always tell me tomorrow, and the next day you tell me tomorrow again, and tomorrow never comes, everytime you give me the same shyt the same disappointment, theres really no way i can communicate with you anymore, the relationship has turned so sour that i dunno how to salvage it, you brought me so much pain and misery, you call yourself a man? i cant stand the sight of you, sometimes i even hate you, but you know what, i cant live without you and no matter what, i still love you, yah what irony.. but its true i lost a friend, i didnt reply him, i ignored him, i thought it was jus not replying msgs and everything would be fine, but i couldnt get to sleep, i was tempted into replying i admit when it was already 1plus am in the wee morning, what was i thinking of, from the moment that i.ve decided not to reply, i knew everything has ended, hes not gonna forgive me, he and his friends are gonna give me hell, im sorry i dont ask for his forgiveness, cos its not like we.re gonna talk again, but im really sad that i.ve lost a friend jus like that. goodbye and takecare over-reliance how i wish you could still entertain me with your dumbness, how i wish you could still be there for me, how i wish everything could go back to the past, but i ended everything with my own hands, believe it or not, im already missing you although i jus said everything has ended, yeah go on and laugh all you want, i know you.re thinking how silly can i be, but.. deep down i know everything has not ended yet im going to work hard im going to work hard im going to work hard yeah suying is gonna work hard Labels: ): Blogged @ 5:20 PM