Saturday, January 31, 2009♥
	supposed to go gym with zx this morning but i was too tired and cancelled it.. sorry zx! next time okay week4 has ended>4 weeks passed>4 weeks lesser to prepare for Os have i been thinking too much about Os? i even dream about my results for the Os.. i dreamt that i got a B4 for HCL.. NO!! i dont want!! if i really get B4, i can forget about going to jc le.. stress.. thought today has school and woke up at 4plus, asking mom what time and mom told me to go back to sleep, saying today no school sleep also cannot sleep well.. am i being alittle too worried and stressed up for Os? friends around me dont seem to worry that much.. i told them about the amount of time that we.ve left till PrelimOne, and they jus said "woah so fast ah".. i wanna relax too! but i cant afford to.. at all relaxing comes with a price>ruining my future and im not going to do it, of cos. haha and the stress adds on when i found out you.ve been doing so well.. why why why.. why did i feel this way?? i should be happy for you!! isnt this what i always wanted since last year?? so. why am i being uphappy now that you.ve proven it?? im sorry, im not able to understand you but how am i supposed to? i dont understand myself either.. . . two's jus nice. three's a crowd im not that generous to share you with other people.. not saying anything doesnt mean you can continue with your monkey business im a human, i get jealous if anyone is coming into this game, i.ll leave then Blogged @ 3:45 PM

	Tuesday, January 27, 2009♥
	HAPPY CNY! went to ah ma's house in the morning and many people were there full house man! then i stayed in the room and started gambling well, apparently i lost.. T^T so decided to try my luck when i went to goddad's house played cards with mom, jiayi. godmom, da yi and kor(join in at the last part) at first i keep winning de lor, then after lose like siao.. and in the end i go calculate>no lose no win what the hell lah.. waste my time leh!! haha but i dont mind cos its a gathering very funny and fun too. then san kim told jiayi "eh call your biao jie come out play leh" and yes, that biao jie is referring to me. but we.re only a difference of about 5months leh.. i feel so old :( and i realised many people also change le oh my gosh!! shawn!! his voice break le and sound so different!! i was still thinking "eh whose voice is that ah?" haha. and i received a hug and kiss from my sweet, cute darling>nicole!! yaye :D shes like so cute lah, run here run there. heehz then xavier and nicole keep banging me.. haha and i didnt know quite how to react so i jus said "ah ah" and pretend im dead.. and they started laughing and saw both kors' girlfs. and me and jiayi say alot of hellos to zhiwei's girlf hahaha, so funny. and i was being introduced to her for so many times le since the past few years i guess.. haha and yes. i counted the question "you have boyf?"(in all types of languages) was asked 7 times what answer was they expecting in the first place? ... then they ask my mom and she said "dunno leh" okay, her answer shows me that she suspect liao.. anyways, i.ve long suspected that she suspected since last year i think and then after that she told ah han jie "cannot lah, still so young. headache ah" qian hou mao dun leh.. then tuan yuan fan that day, she told ah lian jie "dunno leh. still young" then jie said "but now secondary school very common mah" and mom said "haha. dunno leh" ... every year i get the same qns. aiya dont ask le lah cos i wont say de. heehz \ imma tired of saying the same things over and over again i thought things would be better this year, but you still give me the same shyt everytime.. its obvious, you dont even give a damn what now its only what..january. and all these shyt is starting yet again im always following your footsteps, behind you i needa know when you.re in the mood to chat and joke, when you.re not im exhausted, you know? please get this clear, this is not my job you can be good this moment, and bad the next.. what is this?? i hate your guts - later relatives coming.. and dad is off to ah ma's house but i told mom i wanna stay at home, cos i.ve gotta study for the two tests on thursday and friday ohyes. i still have to complete my homework!! my emath dunno owe mrs yeo how long liao.. okay, go start my revision le!! bye people! and enjoy! :D Labels: happy new year Blogged @ 11:45 AM

	Monday, January 26, 2009♥
	you know what. i realised how lucky i am i.ve the bestest brothers, cousins and friends in the whole wide world! sometimes i really wonder. how can i be so lucky? *millions of grins here* will try to blog in detail maybe tonight or tomorrow.. off to ah ma's house now. bye! :D Blogged @ 10:03 AM

	Thursday, January 22, 2009♥
	should i should i should i drop to combined science or continue with my two pures.. actually my goal is very simple>straight As i dont want A2, i want A1 but given my results now, i really doubt leh.. dropping and not dropping each has its pros and cons drop>easy to get distinction but limited number of choices in jc not dropping>hard to get distinction but more choices in jc so. tell me what i should do!! ah ah ah. and i.ve calculated the amount of time left till prelims 1 left with 14 weeks. divided by 7. means each subject only two weeks somemore is sec3 plus sec4 work.. STRESSED LAH!! God, please help me make the right choice!! \ liling got dengue.. hope she gets well soon!! and heard that clarence is quite okay. yaye esther has also come back to school! so.. i guess its not that bad this week? haha . . read my emails and saw the name.. a little happy. a little sad. plus a little of everything i dunno how to describe this feeling.. but you know. yes, confused is the word Labels: dilemna Blogged @ 11:14 PM

	Sunday, January 18, 2009♥
	hello wello jello! suddenly i feel so motivated to study, and thats why i wont be using com for perhaps a week till the next weekend (?) haha. i.ve been sorta slacking for like the past two weeks and yeah, im starting to feel guilty cos i.ve not really done anything.. so, im gonna really seriously start studying real hard. i finally know the true meaning of disappointment.. its like it was something i was so looking forward to, yet it turn its back on me you broke your promise, yet again.. countless lies i get from you countless disappointments too.. sorta used to it i guess.. perhaps im already numb le lah . . i try to be nice to everyone, esp my friends but do you seriously think you.re a friend? or you treat me as one? i.ve tolerated for like what.. 6plus months?! and this year i started shouting at you. and you stop for awhile, and start again almost immediately. sometimes i really wish i could jus kick you and bash you up, but i cant cos im in a school. what for get demerit point over someone like you? you may act like this cos you have your own problems, but which one of us doesnt have our own problems? you like insulting people yeah? but you yourself cant even take jokes.. so, tell me.. is this fair? i got only a merit for chi Os oral and you got a distinction, and what did you do? you said "huh..you only got merit ah? i got distinction leh.aiyo.." at that very moment, i wish i could kill you. i know i didnt do well and im not as clever as you, but since when have i insulted/critisized/suan (or whatever you call that) you? you go and think about it lah. im tired of saying all this everytime i go to school, the thing i dread most is having to face you cos i have to tolerate and make sure i dont do anything rash. in case you dunno, i dont have a good temper, infact i.ve a very bad one so.. if one day i ever resort to violence, you can forget about me forgiving you please get this clear>i.ll hate you - and as im typing this post, theres a fire opposite my house i think its in the so called open space there, no wonder so smelly.. then theres this siren. police car, ambulance or fire engine, i dunno which one lah jus know its one of the three. unless total defence car comes along? hahaha :D Labels: ARGH Blogged @ 7:34 PM

	Saturday, January 17, 2009♥
	i.ve thought alot. over and over again.. its not jus a fling. cos i really feel it everything i do reminds me of you. every song i listen to, i feel it the lyrics, i can feel it and i start thinking of you fast and happy songs>the good times we have slow and sad songs>the bad times we went through remember all the countless fights we have over the smallest things? i took you for granted cos i thought no matter what happens, things will never change. cos i thought you.ll always tolerate my wilfullness. i didnt know how to think last time. i was too immature but i.ve grown up alot after all this while whenever im with you, i jus feel happy. be it jus a msg or whatsoever but i guess things have changed now.. i can feel it lets not point at each other and say its your fault, cos i dont think theres any i dunno whats on your mind but i want you to know whats on mine. i dont care what others think when they read this post, most probably they.ll be thinking its another emo post. but thats cos they dont have the single idea whats going on i dunno if you.ll be reading this.. but i jus wanna thank you for everything every little things you.ve done, every word you.ve said, means alot to me. and i can still remember everything thanks for always giving in to me, and tolerating with my wilfulness.. i.ve never regretted cos i know you.re the only one i love. even if it has already ended Blogged @ 9:17 PM

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	these incidents are enough to make me feel LIFE IS TOUGH!! kaihuai left. esther is having a problem. clarence is not feeling well. jus within two weeks, three friends are like that.. the most shocking one should be clarence de bah never ever thought this would happen to him, hope he get well soon and to be able to come back asap as for esther, i hope she knows whats right and wrong. study well and do her best and she.ll have no regrets kaihuai ah.. jus wish him all the best lah. haha hes a great friend . . okay on a lighter and happier tone now.. i got an A1 for my chinese Os!!! YES I DID IT!! i was so damn happy lah. and maryann's words really damn true next time mus ask her tell me my grades using her sixth sense liao. haha im never gonna eat in the morning anymore. never ever again yesterday maryann offer me some chocolates, and i was thinking since xueyi, irene and amanda eat sweet also nothing then why cant i also be the same? so i accepted her chocolate and i kept wanting to vomit. also cos its the second time she ask if i want so i jus say okay since i didnt want it the first time. woah damn xin ku.. luckily never vomit during frc, if not i dunno how to clear up the mess. haha but im not blaming maryann. im jus wondering why izzit like that.. whenever i think, hear or see food and drinks names in the morning, i will feel like puking.. hai.. \ alright. thats about all i guess.. some things that happen i forget le lah damn damn stressed!! not enough time at all T^T Blogged @ 8:55 AM

	Sunday, January 11, 2009♥
	hey guys!! i apologise for not blogging and replying tags really very sorry.. but i jus cant find the time to do so. okay. sec4 is like what i had expected. no, i mean worse . . first week and theres two tests. next week which is the second week theres three tests.. and tmr getting back Os results.. ah sian lah i dont wanna know my chinese results. cos i know i cant get A1 liao.. sad to know this leh.. but i brought it upon myself.. who tell me to slack and play so much last year leh.. aiya but nevermind lah. im going to buck up this year le at least friday's amath test im sorta confident. at least can pass i guess so now my first aim is to pass every single tests. at least mus pass thats the first step. then slowly i.ll go on to Bs and hopefully As!!! hehe.. wish me luck people!! :D \ okay. you think you.re being funny. you think you.re being very big. like gang leader but you dunno that everyone hates it please lah. the so called "jokes" that you make ah. sometimes really too much you think its funny. but its not havnt you notice that you.re always picking on people, and then saying "jus joking lah. you cannot take jokes meh" then what about i try stabbing you in your stomach, and say "eh sorry ah. my hand lose control. you cannot withstand the pain ah?" oh c'mon. i.ve a patience to my limit okay. and so does everyone. i dont think its funny at all lor so please jus stop it lah ah.. this week has been a hectic week T^T but a good start! Blogged @ 6:29 PM

	Tuesday, January 6, 2009♥
	its only the third day of school and imma feeling so stressed already.. almost wanted to cry yesterday night.. haha also dunno why lots of tests and homework!! someone help me please - went home today and saw something i didnt wanna see, something that i hate and dread with this kinda thing happening, i cannot imagine what my future holds for me.. . . the truth always hurts. i wish i did not know the truth. i really do now that i knew it, i feel so lousy. so turned off ARGH!! T^T Blogged @ 8:24 PM

	Sunday, January 4, 2009♥
	went gym with zx yesterday.. kinda fun :) rode on the sorta called 'bike' then ran on the threadmill shiok ah!! but now my legs are kinda aching.. i guess skipping is different from running and riding bike bah, or perhaps im immuned to skipping le so no muscleache when i skip . . had tuition today for amath, did chapter 11>futher coordinate geometry and guess what, i seem to understand and know how to do! but... i was jus too careless. okay this i admit and i really hate myself for that.. i remember i lost 20plus marks in amath eoy cos of my carelessness T^T okay but anyways, i think to score well for math, is jus to PRACTICE!! i knew this all along, but the laziness in me got over me.. thats why.. hai.. okay dont talk about the past le. mus look forward to the future :) (since when did i become so optimistic? hahaha) - the more i see you, the more i hate you the more i hear your voice, the more i hate you please dont blame me for hating you and treating you so badly even im surprised that i can hate a person so much.. please. firstly ask yourself what have you done why izzit that outta so many people in the whole wide world, i hate only you? you mus have done something to make me feel this way! you are useless, if you dunno sorry to put it so simply, but you.re really useless.. you wanna know how much i hate you? i hate you so much that everytime you appear infront of me, i cant wait to disappear from the place, to somewhere as far as possible i hate you for acting blur, like as if you dunno.. please lah, your acting skills needa be brushed up man! act like you dunno, keep asking and asking. damn you lah everyday drink drink drink. sure drink till die one then only know how to watch tv, dont even help with anything.. okay lor, watch till you rot. drink till you die! Labels: i hate you Blogged @ 8:27 PM

	Friday, January 2, 2009♥
	first day of school was... ...kinda not too bad, have a very familiar feeling all the teachers seem strict, unlike last year (although same people) sec4.. seriously, im scared imma scared that i cant cope imma scared that i cant do well imma scared that i cant score well for tests imma scared that i cant score well for midyear exam imma scared that i cant score well for prelims imma scared that i cant score well for Os im scared T^T damn tired today.. almost dozed off during assembly and emath but cant, cos assembly sit on top, damn obvious and for emath, mrs yeo seems to be fiercer than last year.. mr chia also, oh and hes our form teacher this year and he said no more late night chatting in msn, blogging, msg etc.. he knows us ah.. hahaha ... today the truth's finally out.. to my surprise (shock), i kinda feel nothing special perhaps at first i was really happy but suddenly i wish it wasnt like this i wish it had turn out the way i had expected.. i also dunno why, maybe imma scared my plan will be ruined bah *indecisive* Labels: first day of school Blogged @ 8:39 PM

	Thursday, January 1, 2009♥
	okay theres school tmr.. and i.ve gotta sleep early, but i cant seem to get to sleep!! for this holidays, i.ve been sleeping at like 2plus everyday hope no spot check tmr (fat hope..) and i really thank kwangyi for always being there for me :D i was really touched by his words (although it might mean nothing to you) kwangyi: this year is your last year. and its important. suying: okay yes. i know what you.re trying to say. give up and concentrate on Os yeah? kwangyi: yeah. uni admission depends on it. and your future depends on uni. but, once hes changed and he can stand up for himself, you can get to know him all over again suying: wow your last sentence makes me feel like crying. okay but you.re right. dont worry, i know my limits. thanks kwangyi: haha np. i.ll listen to you if you need and if i can suying: thanks alot. but i guess theres really nothing i can do kwangyi: you can do anything, in your own life suying: haha as in theres nothing much i can do for him le kwangyi: okay, i support whatever you do. sleep early tonight, start off well tmr. a good spring reaps good harvest really thanks alot my friend!! so i guess i know what to do le.. i wanna get to know you all over again, the new you Blogged @ 10:20 PM

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	HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :D yaye. its the NEW YEAR. 2009 okay. so once again. resolutions right? :D 1. read the bible daily 2. study hard for all subjects, like especially for chinese 3. die without the planner yet again :) 4. get at least 4A1s for Os ;D 5. get into a good jc 6. get into the course i want>psychology!! :D 7. be a super duper nice person.. not jus a hypocrite :) 8. tolerance tolerance tolerance.. look at a different point of view 9. to control this nasty temper of mine 10. to be more filial (hehe) im done! hope this year will be a good year for everyone!! goodbye to 2008 and hello to 2009 :D Labels: new year Blogged @ 9:43 AM